Tips on Being a Better Player

The RPG group is a group, After All

While I do tend to focus on my campaign being over 45 years old, I have also been an RPG player for almost 50 years. I was single digits years old when I started playing and made a lot of the errors typical of young players, plus a few unique annoying habits all of my own, thank you, so I know that being a good player is also about growth, skills, and practice. While I am very happy and flattered that players come back to my table when I am GMing over and over the fact that GMs I admire ask me to join their games is an even better feeling, at least to me. These are the things I note make other players and GMs happier or to have a better experience when I am in the group.

Be aware that everyone else is at least as busy as you are regardless of their state in life. There is a difference between a 15 year old player on Summer break and a 21 year old player in university with a job, of course, but don’t assume that means that you can ask the 15 year old for a huge time commitment and especially don’t assume you can delay their goals for yous because yours are ‘more important’. If you don’t want players wasting your time, don’t waste theirs. Make sensible, achievable, plans and deadlines. If you aren’t sure you can play next Thursday at 7 pm, explain that clearly, don’t over promise.
This extends to off-table work, too. If the wizard’s player needs to tell the GM what his PC is doing between sessions by Thursday but needs to know what your PC is doing to decide, make sure you tell them by Wednesday night. If the GM needs your notes by Tuesday, get them the notes by Tuesday. Simple stuff, but important.

For a few months after my wife and I were first married we were adjusting to life together and I was routinely 30-45 minutes late for the scheduled Saturday game. In the glow of wedded bliss it too me a whole to realize I was being not just inconsiderate but very rude considering that four of the other players were paying for babysitters to make the game! I was mortified when I realized that and was very careful to be as honest and accurate as possible when making time commitments and diligent about being on time.

Let other players be clever or dumb, and let them win or lose. There are two elements of this outlook. The first one is fairly obvious – of another player suggests a plan if it is plausible admit it, don’t try to one-up them with a ‘better’ plan that is no better just to look smart. If a player has their character launch into a speech trying to boost the morale of NPC hirelings or demoralize the enemy don’t interrupt them with suggestions or follow up with your own speech just to steal some limelight. And when other players are theorizing or planning out of character, let them talk and actually listen and consider. One of the few people I stopped asking to play at my table would routinely try to one-up everyone else, sucking the enjoyment of the game out of everyone else.

The second part, which is harder to explain clearly, is don’t confuse ‘your opinion of the most efficient method of using the mechanics’ with ‘how others should play their particular character’. You disagree with the spells picked by the person playing the cleric? Sure. But don’t argue, ask why they are doing that and, if you disagree, say why once and move on. You think the fighter should flank? OK, mention it, but don’t argue.
This is not ‘don’t discuss or give advice’, it is ‘don’t confuse your preferences for the “right way to play”’. One of my best, most experienced and skilled players has a fighter that just runs up and hits people because the fighter has an 8 Intelligence and a 9 Wisdom – that’s role playing, not an attempt to be bad at the mechanics and his choice, not other player’s.

Role playing games are essentially a team sport, so be a good teammate and a good sport. A positive outlook about the game, the campaign, the session, fellow players, other characters, etc. just makes the game more fun and bolster your enjoyment so foster a good attitude. Takes losses well and acknowledge that there is a lot of luck involved. Be open and honest about concerns, worries, and goals. Hopefully we all know the player that is a ray of sunshine at the table, cheerful and upbeat that keeps the game flowing with pure optimism. Try to be that guy.
And when things go sideways (and they eventually do) take the downsides with grace. Your d20s haven’t rolled above a 6 for 12 checks in a row? Laugh it off, invent ‘dice jail’, and start rolling with your other hand in an exaggerated manner. The brilliant plan you worked on for 4 days didn’t just fail, it made things worse? Joke about it and move on. It isn’t worth brooding about and it certainly isn’t enough to make your fellow players miserable.
RPGs are games and games are supposed to be fun.

Be diligent about the game. Learn the basic rules and the rules about the attacks, spells, and items you use so you are quick and fluid during play. Pay attention when the GM is describing things and when other players are acting. Help fellow players look up rules. Help with setup and clean up. Take good notes. All these little things really add up and make the game easier and more fun for everyone.

That’s it for my short list and I hope you find it useful.